he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
