I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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