I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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