trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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