So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
