and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
