She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
