we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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