And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
