She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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