margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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