Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
