We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Someone signed my nipple.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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