so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
