Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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