Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
