Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
