I could have mohawked her pubes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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