I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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