you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
