even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
