he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The cops high fived after they tackled you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
