I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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