How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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