i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
