Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
