Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
