If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
