He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
