capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize