she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize