My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
