why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it was like eating out sand paper
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
