yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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