So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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