We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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