my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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