I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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