yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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