I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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