nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
