I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize