That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
