Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize