Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
