she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
