So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
