I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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