Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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