i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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