You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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