"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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