So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
