that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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