don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
