Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
