dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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