i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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