why didn't you poke me back
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
