I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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