i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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