Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
