i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
