who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
