she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
