ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
