if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
