dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
