I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All the doctor said was why
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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