normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
