She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
