Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
