I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
