Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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