Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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