nut hugger
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
